Bits And Pieces III
by Stiffy Biceptz

School's Out (Limited Time Offer): If you’ve been watching the Olympics then maybe you caught the very funny commercial featuring Alice Cooper. A school age girl with a dejected posture snaps at an off camera tormentor,” You said school was out forever!” The camera then moves to Alice Cooper in his rock persona, pushing a cart full of school supplies in an office supply store. He replies “I said school was out for summer—Nice try…” It’s very well done, so catch it if you can.
 
Hooray For the Evil Twin!!: OK, she’s not Jessica’s twin but we can still pretend. I very much like Ashlee’s single “Pieces of Me”. Ashlee’s music is far more meaningful and authentic than her big sister’s ultra pureed bubble headed sugar pop. She has some talent and some charisma and I wish her all the best in her likely to be very short music career. And I’d bet she ain’t no virgin…
 
Rolling Stone Must Die: Stiffy Biceptz has always despised Rolling Stone. Everything about that waste of tree pulp I find horrible, from the articles to the ads and how they try to be so cool. So now, just to further piss me off, they’ve got a deal to put their famous cover art on Miller Beer cans, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Rock ‘n Roll. Of course most of the covers are of white ROCKERS, completely ignoring the black artist who played a critical role in the synthesis of what is called rock n’roll. And the covers will be a collection of the most commercially acceptable artists for sure. Absolutely predictable. As Kurt once had scrawled on his tee shirt, corporate rock mags still suck. Boy Howdy. Oh where is my beloved Creem?
 
Oh Say Can You Hear?: Satellite radio has begun to approach critical mass. Recent news articles have cited the large increase in satellite radio subscribers, and how the earth-based radio business has begun to get nervous (and angry) about the loss of market share. Indeed, the radio gang has begun to lobby and make noises about trying to limit the reach of satellite radio into local programming, something they claim was promised would not happen. Fortunately, the FCC has little or no authority to regulate what the satellite outfits do, but expect a push by the Infinity’s and Clear Channel’s to change that, before they get wiped out. Hee Hee! Let’s hope they get wiped out. In the meantime all of you who read this should email your congress person and senators and tell them to leave satellite radio alone. Fortunately again, the mood in Congress has begun to move a bit away from massive radio conglomerates as most have now realized that the last round of deregulation was likely the cause of sucky radio. We the living are all painfully aware of that.
 
I Don’t Care What It Is, I’ll Buy It!: The latest round of commercials featuring cool alternative music has reached a remarkable level. An off beat Cure track from way back is used in an ad for something which I can’t remember (editors help!). It was a mid 80’s Melody favorite and goes,”I dig you, you dig me...” Allegedly, it featured Robert Smith’s mailman on lead vocals. I don’t think I ever knew the name of the track but it doesn’t matter, since it’s amazingly cool. [Editor's Note: Indeed it is. It's "I Dig You", credited to "Cult Hero", which was in fact The Cure fronted by Frank Bell, whose day job involved him delivering mail past Smith's house.] And the Sweet’s “Ballroom Blitz” is now helping sell something. Apparently, it’s not helping me remember the product, but no matter, I’ll buy it just for the music.
 

©2004 Stiffy Biceptz