Under The Influence
by Stiffy Biceptz

I’m back baby, I’m back. Where have I been you asked? Bankrupt. Empty. Devoid of ideas. For over a year I’ve been able to come up with something interesting to say about the music scene, but then I finally ran out of gas.
 
But after a couple of months away, I’m fully gassed up and ready to continue. So let’s resume with a vengeance.
 
A couple of years ago a band called Limp Bizkit had their moment in the sun with the release of Significant Other, an album that broke the hybrid phenomenon of rap-metal into the mainstream. It was a fairly listenable CD, and had a few tracks worthy of attention, especially the MTV favorite Nookie.
 
Soon thereafter, their charismatic guitarist left the band and Limp Bizkit vaporized without a trace as if they had never existed. We saw plenty of jilted singer Fred Durst however. The entertainment news reported him hanging with the playmates, fathering children out of wedlock, carousing with Britney and being an all around Rock kind of guy. He was running record companies, discovering awful new bands, and generally doing everything—except making any new music.
 
Yesterday I went to the mall. I wandered into the CD store. I saw on the wall a large promotional poster for the latest Limp Bizkit CD. I said to myself, "No Wes, no way." Then I noticed a tattoo on Fred Durst’s hairy torso. Near his heart was a well done bust of Kurt Cobain flanked by an equally well-inked bust of Elvis. I laughed to myself in disgust. Those two busts were as misplaced as any could possibly be. I think I saw Kurt’s crying...
 
There is simply no connection between Nirvana and Limp Bizkit. Let alone Elvis and Fred Durst.
 
Unfortunately, guys like Fred seem to think there is. Just as cartoonish hair-metal bands ruined whatever value there was in 70’s rock, today’s crop of nu-metal, clown rockers has done the same with the more intense edge of the Alternative spectrum. Sure, Nirvana and Kurt ROCKED, but it was intelligent, and sensitive and mature and yes, humble. Fred and his genre are just a bunch of bored misogynistic boys, with nothing more to say, no substance or integrity. “Look at me, I’m loud, I’ve got tattoos, I’m angry, I’m cool, PAY ME SOME ATTENTION!!”
 
Sorry Fred, no more sugar cereal for you. And please keep your shirt on, so a million other useless bands aren’t inspired by your heroes the way you were.
 
I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll have to say it in the future. Go listen to “In Bloom”. Look in the mirror. Is Kurt talking about you? If so, please choose another career path.
 

©2003 Stiffy Biceptz