Grammy Said I Could Stay Up
by Stiffy Biceptz

I've never really watched the Grammys before. But this year, for some reason, I watched nearly the whole show, and had been looking forward to it for awhile. I think the reason was I figured there would have been some highly entertaining statements or actions by some of the artists in reference to the controversial Iraq situation. I had read news clips from the Drudgereport.com and other sites that several of the involved musicians were gonna make a scene, and that CBS was making it even more likely by saying "don't say anything political." There's nothing better than someone being spontaneously outrageous on live TV, with a good part of the world watching. In this regard I was sorely disappointed. Every time someone had a chance to speak onstage, you could feel the tension in the air as if everyone expected some political diatribe. It never happened. And it would have been so much more fun if it had.
 
The only brief mention of the looming conflict was from an unlikely peacenick, Fred Durst, from the less than soothing and now defunct Limp Bizkit. He said after appearing onstage something like "If you're like me, don't you wish this war would just go away?" The applause seemed tepid; perhaps it didn't sound convincing coming from Fred as opposed to a more certified Lefty Dove humper. I almost had the feeling that all the speakers got together backstage before the show and picked someone to say something, anything controversial. Anyway Fred looked overwhelmed with his task and it came across canned.
 
The next best chance was Robin Williams, who could have gotten away with saying anything wrapped in a joke, but he just took glancing shots at Trent Lott and Jerry Falwell. I think it was Falwell. And all Sheryl Crow had was a stupid peace sign necklace and a No War logo on her bass strap.
 
Coldplay's front man had something written on his hand, but the camera stayed away from it. Must have been something good. I had high hopes he was gonna go off on Bush and the war the way he did last week in England, but he let me down. It would have been exciting to see a couple of CBS roughnecks dragging him off his piano while screaming. At least his performance was one of the best of the night.
 
So, sadly, the political drama I was promised in the press never materialized. No controversy (other than best album) or discomfort. I don't mind that they stuck to music business for the night, just don't make me watch by promising a rhubarb.
 
Let me finish by commenting briefly on the points of interest, like the pretend critic that I am.
 
Eminem got ripped off. Glad he cursed and they had to bleep him. Take off the damn hat Fred, we all know you're balding. Bruce rocked, he's just too cool for awards shows. Tribute to Joe Strummer was great. About time the Bee Gees got some credit.
 

©2003 Stiffy Biceptz