Faster Than a Liquored-Up Prom Queen
by Your Diva, Robin Pastorio-Newman

Holidays loom. Relatives lurk. We run past the TV, blurt, "ISN'T THAT YO-YO MA?" and sprint off to polish the silver without a moment to breathe. So let's be brief!
 
Frequenters of South Amboy's Broadway Central Café are as accustomed to weird sound as they are to nightly Police requests it be minimized. Despite this, the tiny bar offers decent shows and exciting art on every inch of wall and ceiling surface. One is never at a loss for something new to examine, no matter how many times one goes. Plus, the Krauszer's across the street sells liquor until 11. Milk, eggs, and bloody mary mix. You know you're in the right place.
 
Saturday night, the band formerly known as 100 Pounds of Porn, now playing under the moniker Headcheck, repeatedly asked the audience, "What's our name?" Silly string, streamers, costumed accomplices; an unsightly mess, hilarious new songs, pogoing with strangers: could you possibly need more reasons see a band?
 
The real surprise of the evening was The Unidentified. A crew of familiar New Brunswick characters made a big, familiar noise: The Unidentified sounded like - wait, can it be? - a reconstructed though faithful soundtrack for Repo Man. If one listens carefully, one might hear reminders of Black Flag, the Circle Jerks and sinister surf music, with a hint of Theremin tossed in for silliness. Got a hankering for the retro-futuristic?
 
In short, you can't go wrong with a weekend's musical buffet that starts with the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Unless you tried listening to the music. Dear God! Phil Collins! Destiny's Child! Mark Anthony! What, no sneeze guard? Your Darling, Your Diva, Your One True Love adores the thoroughbreds modeling this year's fab foundation garments, but wishes the producers didn't force feed viewers mushy slices of Secretariat.
 

©2002 Robin Pastorio-Newman