altrok main 7/17/2002

for July 17, 2002

Mistakes Were Made.
by Your Diva, Robin Pastorio-Newman

After a relationship measured in minutes, ever had this conversation?

You:
Well, that was fun. Maybe.

Mr./Ms. Wrong:
Please don’t tell my girlfriend/spouse/publicist I was here.

You:
Really? Trust me, I’d rather have a rash.

No, that’s never happened to us. And we’ve never turned on Comedy Central years and years later to find a cloth-covered version of a New Jersey band and seen Mr./Ms. Wrong in puppet form, playing a song coincidentally utilizing our username. Nope. Since we’ve never made that mistake, we’d better find something else to chat about, right?

A friend of Your Darling’s, Your Diva’s, Your One True Love’s found himself in protective custody at the PNC Bank Arts Center during the Hollyweird show Sunday night. Oops. It turns out rent-a-cops dislike being addressed brusquely. It also turns out the New Jersey State Police will permit concertgoers to walk from the arena to Iselin on the Garden State Parkway. If ever there were a way to end up on a milk carton, hitchhiking on the Parkway at 4 on a Sunday morning seems like a lock. Bless our buttons, instead our friend ended up in someone else’s clothes at work Monday, raving about the Cinderella show. Which is more miraculous: his survival or his being thrilled at seeing Cinderella?

Obviously, you’re interested in smart and funny, preferably in heels and a short skirt, or you wouldn’t be reading ALTROK on Wednesdays. Your Cheese Souffle still hasn’t lifted a hand to pen music reviews, but exercise is good, one hears. Why? The brand new King Missile III CD arrived in Your Fondue’s mailbox. The Psychopathology of Everyday Life offered Sigmund Freud’s revelation that slips of the tongue reveal the truth. The new CD of the same title - the Psychopathology of Everyday Life - is King Missile III’s paean to speaking the wonky truth about icky subjects. Your Cheesewheel’s a big fan, a gushy, girlie fan, of John S. Hall’s hilarious, awkward truthtelling.

A big fan? What’s that opinion worth? For one thing, as an arbiter of smart and funny, Your Melted Swiss realizes that if you’re a fan of King Missile and John S. Hall, you want to know if the new CD stands up to the King Missile history of producing CDs you love in a passionate, embarrassing way. Second, if you hate King Missile, you probably don’t read altrok, and it’s even possible you’re not rendered speechless by Your Smoked Gouda’s wit and untamed beauty. It’s improbable, but statistically possible. It happened once in 1996. Anyway: does the CD suck?

No. The Psychopathology of Everyday Life fails to suck. It opens with a tall tale called "My Father," a series of amusing lies children might tell other kids about what a cool guy dad is. For instance, that dad was the first white man to play baseball in the Negro Leagues, and that he arrived in America in 1967 with nothing but pocket change. The CD is full of lovely background harmonies, the soothing and jarring instrumentation of Sasha Forte and Bradford Reed, and the torrential invective of an angry Hall. In post-September 11th New York, there’s a lot to be irate about, and like Freud, Hall tells you exactly how he feels about it. And you laugh. Your Grilled Cheddar recommends this CD be sold with piles of hankies to sop up all your mirthful tears.

"Jennifer Love Hewitt" is a gentle tribute to the youthful star who did not shoot off her mouth after the four most unbelievable events in our lifetime (two planes hitting two enormous buildings, then the collapses of those two buildings) - or is it a scornful reminder of all the celebrities who did? In "The Miracle of Childbirth", Hall points out that our parents probably made us during the kind of hot monkey love we’d rather chew off our feet than consider. But so? It’s a riot. Notable also is the five-part "Pain Series". To tell anything about them is to give it away. We can’t have that. A native New Yorker, Hall tells you precisely what he thought of the deification of Giuliani and Bush, so if you don’t want to hear it, be prepared to program your CD player.

You like King Missile III and you’ll like the Psychopathology of Everyday Life. Try www.clamazon.com. If you don’t like it, buying the CD’s the least costly mistake of your life. Much like stumbling through a toll plaza on the Parkway.