I Discovered That I Am Not Alone.
by mikey

The Polkaholics - The Polkaholics
The Polkaholics - Polkas On Guitar

I've often wondered if there was a parallel universe. I'm pretty sure there is one, though parallel in the strictest sense isn't quite realized. In my parallel universe, parallel is defined more like a forgotten railroad siding track, complete with little distortions in the rails and weeds and rotting ties, running until the rails hit a building, road, or another set of tracks. And inside this parallel universe, there's a slightly distorted version of me, who is looking back at our side and seeing one Don Hedeker as the slightly distorted version of himself.

For many years, dating back to the early 80's, I often wondered what would happen if polka and punk were combined, and in fact, found many similarities between the two genres. Apparently, Don Hedeker not only wondered, but acted on it.

Formed in 1997, Chicago's Polkaholics are three: Dandy Don Hedeker on geetar and vocals, Action Jackson Wilson on drums, and Jolly James Wallace on bass and vocals. Their in-your-face, Ramones meets 6FD (that's Six Fat Dutchmen to you polka rubes out there) style kicks arse and takes names. A wall of buzz-saw guitar and pounding polka beats accented with punching bass lines delivers both original polka compositions and fresh takes on traditional oompah favorites with the sounds and smells of over-the-top rock n roll.

"The Polkaholics" opens with the Polkaholics' Theme (all great polka bands have a theme song), which has the familiar melody of the Pennsylvania Polka. Classics like "Who Stole the Kiska" and "In Heaven There Is No Beer" intertwine with original wonders like "To All The Polka Fans" which starts in a Ramones-esque "hey-ho, let's go" fashion. Other polka classics such as the "Julida Polka", "Wicker Park Polka" and "EIO Polka" get put through the punk-polka ringer as well, along with the traditional teutonic gem, "The Happy Wanderer". Of course, no polka debut album would be complete without the "Beer Barrel Polka" and their unique version fits the bill well.

On "Polkas On Guitar", the trio stretches their songwriting legs a little more, adding about a 50-50 mix of originals and covers of polka classics. The title track opens the collection, giving a nod to traditional polka instruments such as clarinets, concertinas, tubas, etc. but proudly declaring, "We play polkas on the frets!". A nod to alternative rock is present in the "Sound (of the beer) Garden Polka", who's catchy chorus ("When the sun is a black hole, the beer will stay ice cold, the sound of the beer garden polka!") will stick in your head like a Schlitz hangover. The lambasting that the Polkaholics have taken from the traditional polka press (there is one?) gets some self-parody in "Polka Enemy #1", where they proudly quote one of their fiercest critics' warnings to not quit their day jobs. An ode to Old Style Beer, a tribute to WGN - Chicago weatherman Paul Konrad, a couple more good old fashioned, get-fall-down-drunk polkas really solidify the Polkaholics as a solid contender for cranking status at 2 am at your next drunken blitzkrieg. Even a thinking man's polka is included ("The Existentialist Polka") for those of you who are really proud that you're going to college and want to impress your drunken friends with the fact that you know what existentialist means. I mean, it doesn't often come up in conversation, and playing this polka might be just the excuse you were looking for.

They proudly offer a few free mp3 downloads of their recordings, their CD's are available on their website as well as from a few other online sources. I like these guys so much I hired them to play at Camp Gumby 19. If you like the Ramones, loud music and cold beer, you'll love 'em too.

http://polkaholics.chicagogigs.com

©2001 mikey