How Do You Afford Your Rock 'N' Roll Lifestyle?
by Your Diva, Robin Pastorio-Newman

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, a cute boy with blue eyes and gyrating hips picked up a guitar and began playing in 4/4 time. He was an instant sensation, made many platinum records and the chicks fell at his feet. The cute boy and his groupies lived happily ever after in Regis Philbin's old mansion, The End." The mature thing to do, once you need a skosh more room in the seat and thigh, is put down the guitar and mow something, right?

Your Diva put down her cheddar popcorn and shouted across the living room to Dennis Marmon, guitarist for Peny Dredful & the Bloody Valentines, formerly of The Blisters and The Parasites who lives in New Brunswick and, along with Sluggo, books shows for the Court Tavern. Author of such remarks as, "Honey, your therapist would have better luck searching for your inner adult," Dennis remained conscious long enough to answer a few questions about being a grown up in a kid's business.

La Princessa: Hey rock star, how do you support yourself and your 19 lb. cat?

Dennis: I manage an unruly record store for about 40 or 50 hours a week, plus I work at the Court Tavern for another 40 or so booking bands, tending bar, making posters, being the concierge on weekends. By the way, Fang's not an ounce over 15 lbs.

Tata: Working all those hours must be exhausting. That can't leave much time for music. How do you stay in practice?

Dennis: These days, playing guitar's like falling off a bicycle. Second nature, you know. But I play every chance I get. Tuesday afternoons, mornings before work, whenever. And yes, I'm always exhausted.

Cookiepuss: Do you tour much? Is touring Europe different than touring the U.S.? Doesn't your girlfriend mind?

Dennis: I haven't been on tour in about a year. I miss it. Was touring quite a bit for the past few years though. Europe's smaller than the U.S., a little more exotic, but all in all pretty much the same. (God, I love Europe!) My girlfriend's usually happy to get rid of me for a while. Absence makes the heart grow fondled. Wink! Wink!

Sideshow Rob: What have you sacrificed for life as a musician? Are you rich yet?

Dennis: Oh, let me count the ways. I've given up on the idea of white picket fences and making babies and having IRA accounts. If I were rich, I wouldn't work 100 hours a week, but I get by pretty well.

Your Diva: In many endeavors, we think 17 year olds should practice a few years and bother us later, but 17 year olds sell CDs. What does that mean to a guy who's been playing and recording at least that long?

Dennis: Screw 17 year olds, I say! Twenty year olds drown on the road, most of those little snots will be selling car insurance or starring in B-grade porno. I do what I do because I love it and I'm better at it than I've ever been and I have no intention of stopping any time soon.

Kissyface: You're a total music geek. You go to record shows, where you commune with other nerds who collect records. Would you ever get rid of those seven foot pillars of vinyl in your bedroom - I mean, uh, convert to a higher tech format?

Dennis: I love records - warm, friendly, sweet-smelling. Why would I want to get rid of them? Records are one of the true joys in life. Convert to a hi-tech format? Listen, have you ever tried to hug a pile of CDs? Hard, sharp, unforgiving damn things. Try it sometime, you'll see.

Snookums: Do you ever think of giving up punk rock, getting a 9-5 and telling the kids, "In my day, we played Düsseldorf nekkid, uphill, both ways…"

Dennis: Give up? Nah, what the hell for? Like I said, I get better at this all the time, and I love it more than ever. I'd like to think that my best times are still ahead of me. Sure, I'd love a little more security, sure I'd love to have some children, but this is what I am. If all that is in the cards for me, great. I welcome it. But not at the expense of my true self. By the way, if you ever use the words "Düsseldorf" and "naked" in the same sentence again, I won't be responsible for what happens as I turn into a big quivering pile of male hormones!

Sugarlips: Meow! What makes you keep on keepin' on? Other than the obvious - I mean, just LOOK at your GIRLFRIEND! - what's in it for you?

Dennis: Yeah, she's somethin', ain't she? What's in it for me? Fame? Fortune? Travel? Love? Sex? Who knows? But let me tell ya: when I walk out there and my muscles and brain do what they're supposed to and the audience is with you and the band is locked together as if we're one person, it's positively magic and there's nothing else like it, nothing! I guess that's what keeps me keepin' on.

Pookie: Say something funny, Denbo.

Dennis: Is dinner on the table?